What a day for a headache…

This morning David is a little out of sorts.  He was playing Batman on VSmile, Daniel was on the couch behind him.  And David was upset because Daniel was holding a toy.  Daniel wasn’t touching David.  His toy wasn’t making noise.  But David was flipping out.  When David walked away from VSmile, all 3 boys ended up sitting on my lap and I played a game.  David was upset because he wanted me all to himself.  I suggested he could play Batman again.  He said that no, he didn’t want to.  About 5 minutes later, without anyone suggesting it, Daniel hopped off my lap and said that HE wanted to play Batman VSmile.  You’ll never guess what happened next: David got upset.  Five minutes later, David was sitting on the bedroom floor surrounded by toys.  I asked if he wanted to play a game on my computer.  He said “Not right now, I’m trying to destroy Daniel’s life so I can have mine back.”

Kindergarten

My Daniel. My little, precious Daniel will be starting Kindergarten on September 8. I’ve had some difficulties enrolling him. My own mental difficulties. But I finally broke down and did it. His 5th birthday was August 10th. He received a Hulk backpack to take to school, but I didn’t finally enroll him until last Thursday. August 21st. So while David and Celia have received their bus assignments and teacher assignments, Daniel will be waiting to receive his. And today he had his school physical. The pediatrician we have been seeing was my doctor when I was born. She’s old. In fact she retired when I was a teenager and for some reason came out of retirement and is practicing again. She wasn’t pleased with Daniel. She asked if he could recite his phone number and address. I said no. That is something they learn in Kinder. I didn’t feel like he needed it memorized now. So big deal. Then she hands him a pen and tells him to write his name. (Here’s where it comes in handy to have a child named Bob.) He drew an oval and declared it a cucumber man. She told him to draw a circle. He did. She said to draw a square. He drew an odd shape and called it some super hero. She drew a square with him hand over hand while counting the sides. Then told him to do it. He did. She said, “He’s going to be behind.” I told her that he’s only begun willingly coloring and drawing within the last two weeks. And it’s summer. How am I going to teach him to write his name in two weeks during the summer when I have 4 kids?!? She asked why I didn’t put him into preschool. I’m a stay at home mom. He could’ve gone to Headstart, but why? I’m a stay at home mom! During the school year we worked on stuff more than we did this summer, but he wasn’t ready to write until now. I’m not about to push my child just so I feel like he’s ahead. She began asking him to identify colors of things that were visible and not visible (a toy, grass, the sky, etc.) and he was always correct. He knew all his shapes. I then told her he also knows all his letters and most of the phonics sounds. She reacted with surprise. Then she said, “He watches Sesame Street?” I didn’t quite get what she was saying. I answered with a confused, “Well, kinda, no not really…” Yes, I am an articulate mother. After the fact I realized that she was insinuating that all his letters and sounds knowledge came from TV. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM!!! What on earth do people think I do all day?!? Sure my house is a mess. It’s a mess because I spend more time on puzzles and reading and coloring (IF they’re willing) and playing and doing laundry and cooking than I do picking up 8,000 action figures or filing 2,000 papers sent home from school. I also informed the wonderful doctor that Daniel excels at puzzles and spends time almost every day putting puzzles together. She said that she always had a hard time with puzzles. Can we not acknowledge here that MY son’s strengths are different than other kids? He can also cut paper rather well. I talked to a mom today whose daughter could write her name when she began Kindergarten, but could barely cut even half-way through. And I know that I should shake it off. And I will. I really will. But for right now, she definitely ruffled my feathers and I’m reacting defensively. But after all I’ve gone through with David, I think that is going to be a hard habit to break.

Oh, and while writing this post and the few breaks I’ve had to take to help Henry and David with their current project, Daniel has put together a 50 piece puzzle and it’s the first time he’s done this one.

Playtime with Daniel and Henry

Henry picked up a Superman tee-shirt from the floor. He showed it to Daniel, “Wook. Ba-man!”

Daniel asked, “You wanna be Supaman? Okay!” He took the shirt from Henry. “Wook here.” He slipped it over Henry’s head. “Wee-as Henwee?” He pulled it down. “Dare he is!” Henry giggled. “Okay,” Daniel said, “put your ahm up.” He held the shirt as Henry’s arm popped out. “Udder side. Ahm up.” But the shirt was folded under so Henry couldn’t get his arm in.

I said, “You’re going to have to help him with that one.”

“Okay.” Daniel reached in and grabbed Henry’s arm. Steering him like you do a newborn. Still the folded shirt blocked him.

I reached over. “Here.”

Daniel steered Henry’s arm up and out the hole.

Then Henry picked up a blanket and brought it to Daniel, “Cayfe.”

Daniel just said, “Go to mom.”

So Henry came to me. “Cayfe.” I smiled as I tied it around his neck. Then Daniel bounded off. He found another Superman shirt and a bandana for his cape. I tied it on and they flew away.

A few minutes later, Henry’s cape came undone. He brought it back to me. I asked, “Can you find a better cape? A bandana like Daniel?” He wanted his favorite blankie, but I don’t like tying them and wearing out the yarn. He came back with an already worn out blanket. “Perfect,” I said.

Suddenly Henry got in a snit. He threw down the green blanket. “No.” Then he took off his Superman shirt.

Daniel, being supportive, chimed in, “Good job, Henwee!” Daniel picked up the discarded shirt. “I can pud id away!”

He began walking to the closet, but Henry objected. Daniel turned and handed it to him. Henry furrowed his brow, took the shirt, and threw it on my bed.

Daniel shrugged and walked away. He continued to be Superman. With or without Henry.

Yes, I still exist…

Well, here it is January of 2008.  Wherever does the time go?  I decided to just post a quick update.  The kids are doing well in school.  I had to call Celia’s teacher and tell him that she wants more work.  He said he’d be happy to oblige, and that her only issue in school is her wandering mind.  I empathized.  At home I can tell her to put her shoes in the basket.  She’ll walk to the bathroom, come back, and say, “What did you want me to do?”  And the shoe basket is just inside our door!!!  David is doing well.  He is beginning to read.  He can read books containing sight words and words in the -an and -at families.  His autistic brain predisposes him to excel at sight words.  Daniel doesn’t show what he knows, and I was beginning to worry that he wouldn’t know anything when he began Kindergarten next fall.  Then the other day he sat down, flipped through a book and named all 26 letters.  He has also shown that he knows quite a few of the letter sounds.  He hides his knowledge so well, I wasn’t sure he knew his ABC’s!  What a relief to find out that all this time he has been absorbing what I’ve been teaching.  And Henry, though 2, also has begun recognizing a lot of letters and some sounds.  His speech is a bit delayed, but I have begun more concentrated “therapy” into our day.  He has shown some improvements just in the last few weeks.  As for me, I’ve finished a few knitting projects.  I hope to post some photos soon.  I’ve also begun a college application to a 2-year program.  With 3 of my 4 kiddos in school in Fall of 2008, I think it would be a good time for me to get a degree.  Well, that’s about all for now.  Perhaps I’ll get to write again soon…

Slow Progress

Each day is a struggle to wake up, let alone pack.  And each time I leave the kids to pack something, I emerge five minutes later feeling elated that one box has something in it, only to find that David has either: dumped a 1000 piece puzzle, or shredded Styrofoam into tiny balls, or dumped the leeetle Legos, or helped himself to the last few chocolate morsels in the house, or gotten out scented bubble mix and then left it unattended where Henry found it and then tried to blow bubbles but spilled it, or decided to go to the car to get something and since our storm door has no latch the dog let herself out and ran away across the road and across the college campus to a point where I no longer see her…   At which point I feel like I’ve taken 2 steps backward.

Today I left the house at 2 o’clock and didn’t return until 7:20.  First the kids and I went to McDonald’s Playland.  I had hoped Amanda could come, but since they’re moving tomorrow, they were very busy today.  Around 4 we left McDonald’s and went to Wal-Mart.  I was fried from…well, life, so I told the kids well in advance that we were not, under ANY circumstances going to the toy aisle.  And since we’ve had 2 Code Adams in the last couple weeks, I put my “safety belt” on David.  In reality, it is a dog collar meant for a very large dog, reduced to fit David’s or Daniel’s waists, with a 5-foot dog leash attached.  He’s too big for a toddler harness, so I had to get creative.  I used to have one that even had an oval ring that screwed closed keeping the leash on the collar.  David can open a clip.

Wal-Mart went better than expected.  He had only one major melt down.  He had a few tantrums.  He called me “jerk” maybe 5 times, and “idiot” about 3 times.  It was less than at McDonald’s…  I had to put him in the cart during his major melt down, but since Henry was napping at home while Scott packed, it wasn’t too big a deal.  It only took a few minutes till he stopped trying to punch me and call me names till he was making his high pitched “me-me-me-me” sound and reaching out for a hug.  He apologized.  I let him down.  We got our few groceries, looked at a few other things, and then left.  We didn’t look at toys at ALL !

We then ran the groceries home and since Henry was still napping, we continued on without him.  We went to Amanda’s new house.  It was probably 5:30 when I got there.  The kids were LOUD.  There were doors slamming.  Kids hiding in closets.  Kids screaming.  Kids walking toys on walls (that would really just be Daniel).  Kids fighting.  Kids crying over hurt feelings.  And no, they wouldn’t take their playing outside.  No matter how many times we laid down the rules, David and Daniel kept getting carried away and getting everyone in trouble.  And because of stress and exhaustion, Celia and Caedmon are both extra dramatic and moody.

Suddenly it was after 7 and Scott was asking what was for dinner.  Amanda and I both balked at the time and decided Pizza Hut buffet sounded easy as long as the husbands agreed.  They did.  We all raced over.  All 10 of us.   All the parents were tired, and all the kids continued to be loud.  Then, at the end of our meal, a major storm blew in.  The rain was going sideways.  We decided to have a refill and wait till it eased up.  Which just meant more of us telling the kids to stay seated.

And tomorrow I do it all over again.  Because while I was away, Scott got a decent amount of packing done.  Without the kids, it went much more smoothly.  I just don’t know what I’m going to do with them tomorrow!

Checkups

On Friday Celia and David saw the Pediatric Developmental Specialist in Lubbock for the last time.  When the nurse, Jesus (Hay-Zeus), called our name to go back, Celia was in the bathroom.  David and Daniel rushed to Jesus and I walked toward the door and told him we were waiting on her.  The door closed.  I could hear Jesus tell them that we had to wait for mom.  But I couldn’t see what was happening.

Celia emerged and we joined Jesus and the boys.  Henry was buckled into his stroller, so he was no problem at all.  Jesus immediately said that when he told them they were waiting on me, David stopped and waited.  He said he was impressed at how well David is doing.  I was beaming with pride.

After weighing and measuring the kids, we were taken back to an examination room.  Luckily we didn’t wait too long.

The doctor came in and began with David.  Celia stood right next to me, and couldn’t stop trying to interject information about her own life.  I tried listening to her in hopes that she would calm down, but to no avail.  Finally I said to her that the doctor was focusing on David right now and she would have her chance soon.  The noise in the room from the three boys was deafening.  I’m amazed the doctor and I could talk at all!  But we did.

She asked how school was going for David.  I said we’ve taken a time out because of the move.  But he has a great interest in learning to read, and in all areas he’s progressing.  He’s been coloring and writing more.  His speech is improving.  He knows the phonics sounds to most of the letters.  He is recognizing bigger, smaller, same, and different.  And he’s answering questions better.  Then the doctor asked where David is receiving therapy.  I answered that I’ve been doing it all myself.  (Services in this area aren’t worth the battle with the insurance company!)  But all in all, the Risperdal and Strattera seem to be doing well with David’s ASD.

Finally time for Celia.  She asked about school.  I said she finished the year well and is excited about homeschooling.  But we’ve taken time off because of the move.  The doctor asked if there were any academic concerns.  I said no.  Celia makes very good grades.  And I told her that her first grade teacher never told me until I asked her, but her attention improved at the end of the year, and Celia left her seat less often.  (I had no idea she was having a hard time staying seated!!!)  So, the Strattera is helping Celia.

During the entire visit, in the background, David and Daniel both wanted the Larry Boy stuffed toy.  I ended up having to set the timer on my phone for 5 minutes and make them trade.  The arguing and fighting ended.  As soon as the timer beeped (which was really annoying in the small room) you would hear, “Here you go…” and then Larry Boy would trade hands.  No head locks.  No scratching.  No punching.  Just sharing.

The doctor seemed very pleased with what she saw and heard from Celia and David.  I was very happy myself.

I’ve been delinquent…

Well, lately we’ve been consumed with packing boxes, keeping David from killing Daniel and even Henry, seemingly pointless yard sales, and coping with all the upcoming changes.  I’ve neglected my poor blog.  And my blog stats confirm this.  My number of views have gone from 64 to 30 to 10.  Yes, I have not been the dedicated blogger I vowed to be.

School has been shut down for the time being.  David’s Risperdal is still a double dose in the morning.   And then the rest of the day consists of bribing Celia with tokens to help us pack and do laundry, doing ABA holds on David, removing Henry from the dog’s water bowl, and packing one box every two hours.

My one piece of joy and thanksgiving is that yesterday I heard Amanda promise Caedmon that he would see us every day this week.  I have had a major fear of wanting to see them this week and only hearing that they are too busy with their move.   Yes, they are moving too.  But not to Pennsylvania like I want.  They are merely moving to a new home here in Plainview.  I want so much for them to move near us.  I don’t want to lose Amanda’s friendship.

Thankfully there are tools such as blogs, email, and cell phones.  But when you consider that the kids and I are used to seeing them a few times a week, this is a drastic change.  Friendship like this is a once in a lifetime occurrence.

I am ever so grateful that I also have Melissa’s friendship.  And since she and I met via email, our relationship won’t change no matter where either of us lives.  I think her friendship will also help me cope with our new situation.

I am also hoping to have Celia continue blogging.  As well as having the kids make home movies on DVD and then mail them to Caedmon.  We are blessed to have a video camera that burns directly to DVD.   As for Amanda and I, I intend to blog and email and I’ve already increased my cell phone minutes.

Bad Autism Week At an End?

Yesterday seemed to be much better.  David still attacked Daniel a few times, but not like it was last week.  Last week was horrible.  Every time I tried to pack a box, I had to stop and run to someone’s rescue.  I was barely able to do laundry!

By the end of the week I began to wonder if it was all a result of a growth spurt.  Typical growth spurt behaviors involve spitting, violent behaviors, accidents (daytime and nighttime), and some other regressive behaviors.  Last week all we saw was violence.  But, he is getting older.  David will be 6 at the end of September.  We’ve seen evidence of his maturing in many facets of our daily life.

In the past, we handled growth spurts by  increasing David’s Risperdal.  So, we again decided to increase his dose.  Typically David gets .25 mL three times a day.  His last growth spurt we gave him .5 mL 3 times a day.  And when the growth spurt was over, it was too much of a dose.  It actually made him violent.  I ended up keeping him off the Risperdal for a few days for it to work it’s way out of his body.  This time we are giving him .38 mL  in the morning and .25 mL for his other 2 doses.  And beginning yesterday we are seeing an improvement.

I even was able to pack a few boxes AND do 5 loads of laundry.

Eating Issues

We all know I’ve got four kids. Celia never had many eating issues. David has had a few. Daniel qualified for Occupational Therapy because of his eating issues. And Henry. Henry never used to have any eating issues. But now I am seeing jags. For those of you who don’t understand this, a jag is when a child will only eat one thing for a long time. Then they burn out on that and jump to the next jag.

When Celia was a toddler, she was easy to please. But then again she would sometimes be fussy. One day we had an accidental break-through. She had some food with more pepper on it than normal. And she LOVED it! I started using it to my advantage. Green vegetables with pepper. Eggs with pepper. Chicken with pepper. The other thing I found is that if I called all meat “chicken” she ate it more willingly.

Ironically, David was the easiest to feed. You’d think being autistic that he would have had the most issues. But that isn’t how he functions. David’s appetite waxes and wanes more than the tides. As a side-effect of Risperdal, he could have had an increase in appetite. We haven’t seen any increase at all. David has certain likes and dislikes, to be sure. He, like most kids, doesn’t like his foods mixed. He’s not big on sauces. But he complains a lot less about what I make than Celia.

As for Daniel, he is the biggest challenge. He doesn’t qualify as a picky eater, just a problem eater. He eats one or two items from each food group. He prefers burgers, but not the healthy ones. The fast food ones. And they have to be plain. Some nights he’ll eat chicken. Other nights he won’t. Well, that really applies to everything. And to make matters worse, his top front baby teeth came in wrong. They are crooked and create a problem with biting. He doesn’t eat most things that are breaded. He doesn’t eat pretzels. He LOVES animal crackers and eats them at snack time nearly every day. He loves bananas. He recently added apples and oranges to his list of likes. He used to only eat green beans. If broccoli hit his plate he would scream and throw the plate. Then refuse to eat anything. Oh, and he never eats any form of white potatoes except for french fries. Never in his life has he eaten mashed potatoes.

Henry used to only eat grilled cheese for lunch. He would not under any circumstances eat peanut butter and jelly. Now he won’t eat grilled cheese, and will eat P B & J. He loves bananas and yogurt. He likes pretzels and animal crackers. He’s pretty open to most foods, but then something will get into his head and he’ll refuse to eat too.

One of my practices has always been giving the kids their vegetables before dinner is finished cooking. They pest for food, why not give them something healthy? And all the kids are so desperate for food, that they willingly munch all the veggies I can give. Celia, as a matter of fact, has always preferred vegetables to fruit. David and Daniel now enjoy them too. Daniel’s list of acceptable vegetables has grown to include peas (hot or frozen) and even broccoli. For Daniel, getting him to accept broccoli came over much time of making it available. I would first just make it and put it on the table. Then when he was used to it being there, I began putting a very small amount on his plate. After a lot of waiting, one day he tasted it.

The Occupational Therapist said I was doing the right thing by waiting for him to eat. She told me that it was best to offer him dinner and allow him to eat or allow him to go hungry. It was up to him, but I wasn’t about to make him a special meal or allow him to eat P B & J three times a day. I would just make sure that I made a Daniel “approved” meal at least once every day or two. We took this approach for everything. I make it, I expect them to eat it. If they eat their dinner and then are hungry later, I can let them have a snack. But if they refuse dinner, then that’s all they get to the next morning. This rule is the hardest to enforce for David. David has no rationale. There is no getting through to him like in an NT child. When he gets it into his mind that he is entitled to something, he will not let it drop. He’ll scream until his nose bleeds if he gets into enough of a snit.

Henry’s jag is a new experience for me. I suppose I’m going to have to find all my papers that the OT gave me when we were beginning to explore Daniel’s eating difficulties. I also want to buy the book Just Take A Bite. According to the reviews on Amazon, it seems like just what I need. It even includes eating exercises.

Dorf on Superheroes

As Daniel “walked” around today on his knees, I suddenly had an urge to put shoes under his knees and take some photos. Especially when he had his Batman mask and blanket cape on. Of course, poor short Daniel, walking around on his knees didn’t give him any advantages. His head was only two inches above the arm of the couch as he went past.