Daniel and David were playing outside this afternoon. Scott was doing yard work. I was knitting with my sore knee propped up. Daniel came in naked. They were playing in water, and as soon as his clothes become a little wet, he strips! I asked if he was going to get new underwear. No. He had no intention to redress. He had obviously come in only for shoes. He held up his sneakers. “Shoes?” I replied that yes, they were his shoes, and yes, he could wear them. He sat, put them on, and ran back outside. Still buck naked.

About a half-hour later, Scott rushed in carrying Daniel. I heard something about a puncture wound and jumped up. At that moment there was a knock on the door. I was in jammies. There was no way I was opening the door–especially since it was most likely an athlete–and I was in a camisole! I grabbed Daniel and left Scott to the door. (It was an athlete.)

In the bathroom, I put Daniel on the vanity with his feet in the sink. There was small bar of Lever 2000 there (I only put small bars there now. See Toilet Trouble.) I washed his foot a few times. All the while the poor boy screamed. I hollered for Celia to bring my phone. Scott came a moment later with the phone. I then asked for a dark washcloth or towel from the cabinet. He hollered that there were none that were dark colored. There were some old ones that had become purple after I dyed them navy. I said the purple ones would do. I was handed a dark green washcloth.

As I applied pressure to his foot, I called the doctor’s office. They were closed. It was only 4:45! I pressed 1 to get the answering service. He gave his name and asked what I needed. I told him my son stepped on a rusty nail and has a puncture wound on his foot, and I needed to know what to do. He said that he didn’t know because he wasn’t a doctor or nurse. I said I understood that, and could someone call me? He said Dr. Turner was out of town. I asked if there was someone on call. He said yes, there was a clinic. I said Okay. He then gave me the number. I had nothing to write with, so I dipped my finger in Lever and wrote on the mirror. I called the clinic. Their voice mail said their normal business hours were from 8 to 8 Monday to Friday and then special Saturday and Sunday hours. Then it said please call back during normal business hours. It was 4:55 on a Monday!!! Then I was offered the option of pressing 1 for an emergency. I did. I waited a minute, and then was disconnected. I called again. I went through the whole message. I pressed 1. I waited another minute, and then got a person. I went through it all again. Her reply of course was: I’m not a doctor or nurse, I don’t know what you should do. I slowly said, “Can someone call me?” I was at the end of my patience. They’re an answering service after all. When they say what do you want? Aren’t you supposed to tell them what happened? That way they can tell the doctor…

We sat and waited a few minutes, and a woman called back. I don’t think she was a doctor. Probably a nurse practitioner. She went the route of playing the safe side. She said I should take him to the ER so that he wasn’t faced with a nasty infection. So to the ER we went. Daniel screamed when he saw the hospital. He screamed when he saw the triage nurse. He screamed when they wanted to take his temperature. Then we left to fill out paperwork. I had to put Daniel down. Paperwork done we went to sit in the waiting room.

I was just finishing my second stitch on Celia’s halter top when they called his name. I think it was an all time speed record for our ER. They are not noted for speed. (When I had chest pains, I was in the waiting room at least 45 minutes!) They glanced at the spot, and said, “He’s up to date on shots, right?” I said, “Uh, yes…” Not that his shot records were with me. They said he’d be fine. I asked, “Even though it was a rusty nail?” Then the doctor decided to give an antibiotic. So Motrin and Erythromycin. That’s it. We waited another 1/2 hour and then the nurse came with the prescription and discharge papers.

All of that for erythromycin.

The real kicker is that I drove straight to Wal-Mart. It was now 6:25. I then realized that all the screwy doctor’s hours were because today is Memorial Day. I decided to call the pharmacy. Push 1 for English. Push 0 for a pharmacy assistant. Then I heard, “The pharmacy is currently closed. We will reopen tomorrow morning at 8 AM.” So I drove past Wal-Mart and went home.

All of that to wait till tomorrow to start the erythromycin.

…I guess I could’ve just waited till the morning to call Dr. Turner.